Stories in Thought Bubbles

Look carefully at this image from Chaing Mai, Thailand.

“That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!”

 I’m seeing a lot of this attitude around me right now. Some people are so ensconced in their constructed story, they are not aware of what is outside that bubble.

They wear personal blinders that shut out everything including truth and light.

A wise friend posted this on Facebook the day after the Connecticut school shootings, “The energy is intense right now. Don’t take anyone else’s ego issues personally. It’s their stuff, not yours. Instead, focus upon the sweetness within you, within life and within other people. You will find it, if you seek it.”

Another Dragon from Chaig Mai.

The maelstrom of emotion around the shootings mirrored a personal circumstance and I started to wonder how much of what I was seeing close to home might actually be a huge discord in human vibration emanating from down south. How loud was the disturbance in the force these past few days?

As I watched reactions in both situations, I couldn’t help noticing that people were constructing their own stories about why things happen. Heels dug in, stances solidified and opinions turned to gospel using details skewed to fit personal truths.

It’s as though I’m watching actors on a stage performing different parts of different plays while reality plays in the background unseen, unheard and unrecognized by the players and the audience.

Doorway in Chaing Mai

I almost slipped into the turbulence on Facebook just before I saw that quote. I had another moment tottering on the edge as I communicated with others on the situation in my own life. Fortunately, I managed to stay present. I managed to speak with integrity and stay positive.

It’s not always an easy thing to do, but we, as a species, really need to try harder on this front. We need to start seeing each other in the way the Avatar movie suggested by its line, “I see you.”

Look for and find your story. Step out of it for a moment and see yourself. Then look around and see if you can see others in their stories. Personal stories are easiest to see when emotions are high. They form an invisible boundary around person that nothing can penetrate. A solid thought bubble.

Uh Oh, can't remember where this is.

We need to find common ground and start the healing.

The common ground right now is so simple. All of us want deliberate hurting to stop.

In the Season of Love

In case you missed the flurry on my FB page, I had a birthday last week. As is my habit, I got out my cards for the first time in too long and went intro…

Kathleen, Madelon, me & Matt - all Lacombes and definitely retro

...spection.

You know, as opposed to retro…
Okay, bad joke.

Anyway, I did a message from the universe reading where 4 cards offer thoughts on body, heart, mind and spirit. The card that came up for heart was Judgement. In this case, it refers to divine judgement and the passage in the book mentioned Judgement Day – a personal Judgement Day.

I started by thinking about how, when the time comes, I want to be remembered as an honest, caring person that was willing of give of myself to help give voice to the voiceless. In my case, rivers, trees, wildlife and open space.

Elbow River Falls and less retro me.

But, I had just read the card for Body, so suddenly I found myself confronted by a disembodied voice asking, “And how about yourself? Did you love the body, mind and spirit that you are? Did you take care of your body, nurture your mind and live with your spirit always present?”

Oh, man! “I hadn’t really thought that mattered all that much.” I found myself answering with eyes to floor; which was not there.

What if when my personal Judgement Day comes, I fall short of loving myself? We always talk about being a good person and serving others. What if our job is to be good to ourselves? How much love do I give my body, mind and spirit?

Is it important to experience self-love in order to know how to love others? What if I am admonished for not loving the spirit I am?

I certainly recognize the need within me to look at my quality of self-love. I have been watching how I treat myself for a couple of years now and often find myself asking why I don’t come first in my own mind.

This reminder took me to my journals to find this from August 2011.

Red squirrel copied from
Dereila Nature Inn website.

“And the squirrel! It chattered from the trees, leapt over our heads on the branches and squirreled away pine cones in the wood pile. Someone on Tut posted a link to a site with an enchanted forest. I went there and asked for an animal to help me with self-love. The squirrel showed up. At first, this was confusing. Squirrel? But at the lake, squirrel was always there and always active. Like self-love should be.

“In the movie Up!, a talking dog interrupts himself often when he sees a squirrel. He suddenly stops what he is saying, turns his head quickly and yells, “Squirrel!” This is the appropriate action if you find your mind or your mouth saying unkind or unloving things about you. Recognize these things as squirrel chatter or a passing distraction from truth. Like this… “I am not good enou… SQUIRREL!””

Sculpture from the grounds of the
Reclining Buddha in Bangkok, Thailand

All over spiritual teachings of all kinds is the instruction to honor the Divine within. Any time a person fails to love themselves, they choose to not love that Divine within.

That puts a different perspective on loving God, loving the Holy Spirit doesn’t it? Do I want to arrive wherever it is we arrive and have a master stand before me saying, “Tsk, tsk, really! You could have loved the pure spirit that you carried within all these years a little better. You could have trusted the messages it gave, respected the temple it lived in and fed it better thoughts of gratitude, appreciation and love.”

Right now, I’m not sure I would be able to squeeze past that one if I end up there soon. Maybe our number-one job here is to love unconditionally the spirit that is always with us.

This day in Calgary

Let’s start on a humorous note shall we?

I often refer to my cat as Little Buddy. He’s my little buddy that loves me unconditionally, purrs my heart each night and keeps me company by day. Also, I love cheese.

So today when I saw a sign advertising a burger called Little Buddy with Cheese, it just kind of stuck. 

Now Jack is my Little Buddy with Cheese because the only thing that could make Jack more loveable would be if kissing his little head left the taste of Havarti on my lips.

 

This week I’m learning a lesson. I can’t see what that lesson is yet, but judging by the shit it’s disturbing for me, it must be a doosie… Okay, I’ve never spelled doosie before.

Anyway, at this point even my observer is confused.

Interestingly, the very challenge I’m struggling with I’m trained to and have facilitated other people working through. 

So I find it interesting that I am not blind to the situation, but also not immune to its affect while immersed in chaos. 

I’ve heard it said that attitude is everything and I will vouch for the fact that knowing I am embroiled in situation that is fairly common in our society helps. Having some professional training in how to deal with it is good too, but mostly the maturity and personal clarity I’ve gained over the past year or so is hugely beneficial.

 

To have the ability to know, beyond doubt, that this too shall pass enables me to persevere. Remembering that things of value take work, time and patience allows me to breathe. Practicing an almost impossible chant focuses my mind away from the stress inducing BS currently in my vicinity and pounding my drum vibrates my soul into a still pool.

 

Thank you Universe for providing me with the tools to thrive through difficult circumstances and maybe move from Good to Great (a book I’m reading that you would probably enjoy).

Don't Pull That Trigger

  

I’m not enough and I know better than you do. Those were my emotional triggers I noticed the past few weeks. When you pay attention to what has you reacting, eventually you see the base of the emotional reaction. One of the things I reacted to in early September hit on both those root causes.  

What I find rather interesting is that they appear to be opposite ends of a pendulum swing.

Each time I find myself reacting emotionally to words, circumstance or a new piece of information, underlying it is either righteous indignation or a vulnerable little girl.

The trigger that hit them both this month was the argument that “Fat people are lazy and make bad food choices.” I’m struggling with my weight right now in a way I’ve never had to before. So my vulnerable little girl who takes everything personally and cowers in a dark corner reacted to that with my own guilt whip.

 

Also, I know that science has shown that the obesity epidemic stems from a complex change in the way humans live and eat in addition to certain chemicals we’ve introduced to the environment that are changing the way our bodies react to food and emotional stressors. They call them gender benders; which I find interesting when I react with righteous indignation and imagine myself as a warrior with sword of truth held high.

So I know some things that make me angry and I want to lash out at ignorance, but that is arrogant, foolish, and attached. None of which is helpful to anyone. It is not my place to change others. Besides, I’ve heard that, “A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.”

Then there’s that little girl that cowers every time she imagines a slight and takes it oh so personally. She’s a real drain on my energy and makes me do or say ridiculous things. 

Beside which, I’m 53 for crying out loud! This little girl needs to relax and smile more often. Let things roll of her back more or simply take words and circumstances at face value instead of ballooning them into “I’m not good enough.”

Life will always be full of triggers. I will always carry a little girl and an earth warrior inside along with the rest of the crew. The trick is to also carry that deep, still well that emanates calm and keep the dipper handy.