Relationship Ruminations



A new relationship developing in my life - granddaughter

I’m sitting in the sun on Madelon’s patio watching over Simbah – who is tethered – and thinking about relationships. Even this simple relationship with a cat engenders food for thought. For many years, Simbah ran free, without a care in the world, all her worldly needs provided and an entire rodeo grounds to call her turf. Meanwhile, I – as the provider – tethered myself to a desk, a way of being and role that I felt worked as provider. Now, the tables are turned. Simbah walks circles at the end of her tether and I roam free about the world. If I had to guess, I’d say she’s aware of that and not so pleased with me.

When it comes to my human relationships, I have old ones, new ones, family, friends, associates and colleagues. I had clients, but I’ve let that go for now and number those people among my friends and colleagues. I have relationships I’ve let go, relationships dangling, blooming, changing and comfortably distant.

So I see that relationships, with everyone and everything, constantly change. Part of this is because I constantly change even when I’m not aware of the change.  I read somewhere recently that a person cannot consider themselves the same person in the evening as they were when they awoke. It’s akin to geological change; so slow that it takes a period of time to notice something changed.

In some respects I am the same person as the babe born decades ago, but I am also a new person several times over. Experiences, learning and relationships with the world mould and evolve our beliefs and values.

A babe, my baby boy and a new grandmother.

This change is so constant and so slow that we sometimes don’t recognize that we have changed. Many people roll their eyes at the concept of an organization that does something one way because, “we’ve always done it this way; it is the way to do it.” Yet, sometimes those same people also say, “I have always…” and do not see the fallacy of the statement.

I see now that the belief that we are the same person today as yesterday is the lie that traps us. We are not and we never will be the person we were before this moment or this moment or this moment…

The trick is to remember in each moment that I am under development and that I will be under development until my last breath. The freedom in this thought is that an ever-changing state allows for directed change.

Any relationship in my life that does not bring me joy, I can choose to change in a direction that will allow joy. I can direct change in my relationships to people, money, my idea of home or my idea of work.

I can recognize that these are fluids I’m working with instead of rocks or even that relationships are currents in our lives and we can paddle our way through or float along to see where we end up.

Jack in the Pulpit - BC coast, Canada
I am that

Of course the most important relationship of all is our relationship to our higher Self or the Divine in us. If there is an unchanging aspect of humans, it is the Divine in us as us. Our job is to let it shine through in this moment… this moment… this moment…