Lost One

One of the big fellas

Today is my one-month anniversary in this house, in this city and in my new life. This is me beginning anew after several years of health challenges, meaning of life challenges and questioning my relevance on this planet.

I am full of optimism for this new life… usually. Today it’s hard. 

Friday night when I got home, Torts had moved her kittens under the bathroom sink cabinet. I’m not sure I would have found them if it wasn’t for the mewling. I had to lie on my tummy and use my phone’s light to see them. I was chagrined.

I decided to worry about THAT after dinner. By then, Torts had moved three of the kittens back to the crevasse and I was hopeful. I gave her a little more time, but then fished the last three out and barricaded the slot.

Cat conference in my bedroom.

Saturday, I noticed that mom spent a lot of time MIA (missing in action). I found her snuggled up to Todd in my bedroom. I kept checking on the kittens and they seemed content, so I left well enough alone.

However, this was the first time my complete lack of cat/kitten knowledge gave me misgivings. What if I was doing exactly the opposite of what I should be doing?  

Crevasse monkey pile

I hung out at home all day Saturday. Partly because I’m still getting settled here. I find myself moving furniture or rearranging storage because a lot of stuff simply landed during the move. Now that I’ve spent some time living here, I can organize work spaces and storage.

I kept going into the bathroom and looking at the monkey pile. Torts would roll her head back and look at me, but everything looked normal. (Actually, WTF is normal? Big hole in my knowledge there).

I took time to create a big baby box for Torts out in the sunroom. I’m starting to think about the reality of having a bunch of kittens loose in the house. I hoped Torts would move the kittens while I slept.

Big baby box waiting for the family.

Torts and Todd are feral cats. They came from the rodeo barns, I think. In any case, from what I’ve heard; which I will admit isn’t much, feral cats are hard to domesticate. It’s one of the reasons I’m being very cautious not to push myself on them. They both hide during the day when I’m around and then I hear somebody playing in the middle of the night with the little ball that has a bell in it. So I know they move around at night.

Before I went to bed, I sat down beside the crevasse to pet and talk to Torts. The little black runt of the litter was not nursing. All the kittens looked poorly groomed, but that one little guy worried me.  I managed to get a little milk into

him, so felt better about that.

That's some good reading right there.

When I got up Sunday morning and saw the crevasse empty, I was cautiously optimistic. Then I walked into the living room and saw books on the floor and the monkey pile in the bookcase. For crying out loud!

I made coffee and gave myself a few minutes to wake up. Then I went and removed the kittens from the bookcase. I was surprised Torts wasn’t with them, but not too much after Saturday. Then I looked in basket and noticed only one black one. Wait a sec! So I took all the books out of the bookcase. Nope. I went back to the crevasse and carefully examined the blankets etc. Nope.

I began to think the worst. I went through the litter box. There was a lot of poop and one large clump that was very suspicious. I did what no one should ever have to do and dissected that clump of poo. It was not a normal poo, but it was poo. Kind of hairy, oddly coagulated stuff, but again, what do I know?

I spent the next few hours trying to get Torts to join her kittens in the sunroom. You have to understand this is a very small house and I have a room blocked off. I looked everywhere

for the runt of the litter, but no joy and no noise. By now, I had most of the rooms blocked off, but after chasing Torts out of my bedroom, I couldn’t find her. 

I swear cats have the ability to go invisible. I called in the cavalry because now I was at a complete loss. I had found Torts back in the bookcase (seriously! I blocked it off!) She was fine with me cuddling her, but when I tried to take her to her kittens, she got very angry with me. I locked her in the sunroom with the big box of kittens and all the cat necessities.

When Shirley came, she sat on the floor by the box and pulled the blanket out to be able to reach the kittens. Then we went to the kitchen, warmed milk and talked for a bit. When we came back, Torts was with the kittens! Hallelujah!

Lessons ensued for me and we talked. As we sat there, Shirley found a tiny black paw caught up in the blankets that had come out of the crevasse. It effectively shut us up for a couple of minutes. We both stared at that little paw. Such a strange sight.

Torts back with her kittens in the sunroom

We talked a little about the ripple effect. This blog is in response to all the people who asked me to keep them posted. But it also means a whole bunch of people are not going to want to hear what I just said. One tiny, black kitty didn’t make it.

One person asked me to keep it real and talk about lessons I might learn. Here’s one for you. It’s heart breaking to lose a little being in your care. anger consumed me because that’s what humans do when they hurt. We get angry - even when there is nowhere to direct our anger. For me, it painted this beautiful day a dull red.

And yet, there are blessings. Shirley showed me a kitten she had in her car because it’s going to a new dwelling place after surviving *panleukopenia. When I saw that little girl, I realized the difference between a kitten we are accustomed to seeing on the internet and the ones in my sunroom. Torts kittens have closed eyes, they can’t really walk yet and they sleep 99% of the time. 

The little kitten in that cage was so frisky! And she had those big kitten eyes we all fall in love with at first sight. One of Torts kittens, one of the tortoise shells, has one eye open. LOL Soon, I will be overrun with cuteness.

But, pray for us please. I don’t know why Noir didn’t make it. Maybe he wasn’t ready to be born. Maybe he just couldn’t compete with those extra large orange guys in the litter. But, God forbid, many of the cats that came out of the barns had panleukopenia. It’s not likely. The people involved took many precautions, but pray anyway.

Safe journey little one

Also, I think Todd is beginning to warm up to me. We played for a few minutes today and he didn’t lay his ears back when I picked him up last night. Progress.