Melange aux kittens

So tonight my thing was, "Who's eating all the food?" I keep putting out big bowls of food and it keeps disappearing, but I never see who's eating it. I know Todd moves around the house because I see it, but every time I look for Torts (with the exception of this morning), she's in her crevasse with six kittens attached to her belly.
Considering neither one of them comes from a home with a doting cat lady, I suspect they both think this is pretty sweet to have bowls of food just laying around waiting for a cat to eat it.
I have to say too that Torts has a "Dear God get these little parasites off me," look in her eye sometimes. So, I decided I needed to know who's eating all the food. My first plan was to fill all the food dishes, then kick Todd out of the bathroom and close the door.

Todd curled up close by to mom and kittens

Shirley gave me a recipe for a milk mixture to feed the kittens, but mentioned that Torts could benefit from it right away too. So, I mixed up some milky stuff and refilled the most recently emptied food trough and presented them both to Torts - in her face like.
The milk got a "meh," but the food made her sit up. She was trying to find a spot to put her front paw that wasn't on the back of kitten, but it just wasn't happening. She leaned in (as they say women should) and managed a couple of quick mouthfuls. Meanwhile, the kittens were complaining and stayed latched on.
I decided the problem lay in the kittens not Todd.

Torts' buffet

Off to get yet another box. This time I lined a box with soft things and took it to the problem area.
I proceeded to remove the kittens one by one and put them in the prepared container. Of course, they complained. Then I tapped the side of the food dish and ordered Torts to eat while I watched. She did! She dug right in.
Meanwhile, this gave me an excellent opportunity to photograph the babies for their fans. Torts produced two orange kittens, two black kittens and two variations of tortoise shell
(I secretly like them best; don't tell the other children).

Monkey pile of kittens (eh?)
Kitten pile of monkeys?

Once Torts had enough food, she started making a noise that sounded like my phone on vibrate on a wooden table. I actually was about to leave and check my phone when I realized it was her. She could hear her babies and she was not amused.
I however was amused AND pleased.